New England Temperature Conversion Chart

60 F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe.

50 F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.

40 F: Italian & English cars won't start. People in New England drive with the windows down.

32 F: Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20 F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 F: All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats.

40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."

460 below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).

People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series.